by Tony Saccardi
Do you sometimes feel as if your mind is racing but you’re not getting anything done? Do you feel drained? Do you have difficulties maintaining a positive attitude? In this new article, I’m sharing two very important tips on how to take care of your inner landscape.
I was watching a video conference recently and listened to a handful of Fortune 500 top executives talk about the challenges of the pandemic. I wanted to share a few ideas that resonated with me: listening, empathy, and focusing on what is actually working.
What we’ve learned so far from the pandemic would be a book in itself. However, as individuals, there are a few lessons we can apply now, not only to mentally endure the pandemic but to come out the other side an even better person.
Do not let the engine go into the red
If this was true before the pandemic – with many people experiencing burnout – it is even more prevalent today. We know burnout is caused by stress, which in and of itself is not a bad thing, as it is what makes you get up and go in the morning. It’s how we react to it that can quickly take us from a feeling in the flow and self-confident to a position of helplessness, fear, burnout, or worse.
Not dealing with stress is like driving too fast in first gear with the engine in the red. Not only won’t you go very far, but you will overheat the engine and possibly break your car. The same can be true with driving yourself too hard while living with unmanaged stress: you create too much pressure on your mind and body and this can very quickly affect your perspective: finding yourself with unhealthy thoughts and unpleasant feelings.
I want to share how the mind contributes to fear and unhappiness when left to its own device, and what we can do to reduce our main source of stress and prevent the engine from going into the red.
The Wandering Mind
The human mind has a tendency to wander, and according to a 2010 study from Harvard researcher Dan Gilbert, a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. How much does the average person’s mind wander? According to the study, 47% of the time.
What is a wandering mind? Is it simply daydreaming? Thinking about the past, the future? Having an imaginary conversation with the boss? Explaining to your partner why you should get a dog? It’s all of the above and more. Anytime you are thinking about something unrelated to what you are doing or experiencing at the moment, your mind is wandering.
A wandering mind in and of itself would not be as bad if it were only affecting productivity. But unfortunately, a wandering mind creates unhappiness, negativity, and by extension, unhealthy stress.
Most humans have a negativity bias: the tendency to think about and get prepared for the worst possible scenarios. Add to this the current negative news cycle with the media going for the sensational rather than the rational and the number of uncertainties we currently live with. This is a wandering mind’s field day.
It’s a bit like a feedback or negative loop where the thoughts generate negative feelings and the negative feelings reinforce the negative thoughts. And, your brain is always monitoring your thoughts. As soon as the feelings are involved, the brain sends the signal to manufacture cortisol, adrenaline, and to be prepared for threats. The long-term effect of this is detrimental to your physical and mental health. When you are experiencing the feedback loop, your engine is in the red and you don’t want to be there for too long.
We cannot always stop the wandering mind but we can do practices that will allow us to control what we pay attention to and how we focus so we can make the habit of spacing out less of a burden, helping to take the needle out of the red zone.
Here are two preventive techniques you can use.
Practice Focused Attention Training:
Focused attention training is a practice that can help you reduce the frequency and the length of time your mind wanders. Though you can do it anytime, a formal mindfulness meditation practice where you focus your attention on your breath, or your body, or a candle flame can really help you to hone your ability to pay attention on purpose.
The technique itself helps you to become in charge of your attention as it activates the direct experience network, the opposite of the wandering mind. Just 10 minutes of breath awareness once a day will help you to become more aware of your mind’s activity.
In addition to honing your ability focus, you employ a non-judgmental attitude during the practice, one which reduces your reactivity to drama and helps you keep a distance from the negativity bias. You can think of a focused attention practice like a workout.
It’s just like going to the gym to build the muscles you need to climb your next big rock.
Each time you meditate in the comfort of your home, you learn to pay attention to your attention and you develop a more observational attitude, both skills that will help you on the next climb – or next work project – easing your wandering mind and negativity bias.
A daily 10-minute breath awareness practice will also help you build your focus muscle which will lessen the number of times you become distracted during work shortening the amount of time your mind is wandering.
Watching your words:
Another preventive technique has to do with not indulging negativity and making a commitment to change your attitude.
Firmly set the intention that you will not berate yourself up or speak badly about yourself to others or even to yourself. Refrain from judging yourself and cultivate bringing out the best in yourself and in others.
When you catch yourself in a negative narrative, stop. Instead, look for what is working, and appreciate the good qualities or successes you’ve achieved. If others are involved, see if you can create a better story for them, giving them the benefit of the doubt. Imagining they are doing the best they can too, as they are navigating this amazing amount of uncertainty.
Want to know more about resiliency?
If you want to learn about other tools you can use to handle the inordinate amount of stress we are all exposed to, take a look at the resilience brief on the value of cultivating resiliency.
